Coveted Justice (Cowboy Justice Association Book 15) Page 3

  “Are you defending him, Tanner Marks? Are you saying that being unfaithful is not a big deal, because I have to say that I had no idea that you felt this way. I’m learning all sorts of things tonight.”

  Whoa, back up the bus. That was not what he was saying at all. He’d been trying to reassure his wife that her father wasn’t some kind of monster.

  “I am not defending your father and I certainly don’t think being unfaithful is no big deal. I think you know that, Maddie. I was simply trying to let you know that Greg has always been a good person. Obviously, everyone has their secrets and this isn’t a good one, I’ll admit that. But it was a long time ago, and from the way your father has acted since it looks like he hasn’t done it again.”

  “He cheated on my mother. He was with another woman and he got her pregnant. That’s bigger than an oops, I backed into someone else’s car at the supermarket, or I forgot to tip the pizza delivery guy.”

  “Did he know she was pregnant?”

  To Tanner, it would make a great deal of difference if Greg had known and done nothing. A man needed to stand up and acknowledge his mistakes.

  “No, he says he didn’t. I guess the woman had a health scare and she admitted to her daughter that my dad was her father. The daughter came looking for him. They’ve met several times now and are establishing a relationship. That’s how he described it. They’re establishing a relationship. Because he’s her father. He used to be my father.”

  “He still is.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  “I know and I wish there was something I could say to make this all better for you.”

  She scrubbed at her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Can you go back in time so that I can tell my dad that we can talk later instead of tonight?”

  “No, but you’d only be putting off the inevitable. Just what did Greg tell you? Were he and your mother separated at the time? Who was this woman?”

  “Dad went to a medical convention in Dallas. He met a woman doctor there. I don’t think I need to be more specific as to what happened because she had a baby nine months later.”

  “He never saw her again?”

  “He says he didn’t but I’m not sure if I can believe him. I’m not sure I can believe anything right now. I’m so…disillusioned.”

  If there was one person on this planet that Maddie idolized and adored, it was Greg. She’d placed him on a pedestal as a child and he hadn’t fallen when she’d grown up.

  Until now. This had to be a nasty realization for her. Her only surviving parent wasn’t perfect. Tanner had also had that sudden moment when he realized that his parents didn’t know everything. Except that he had been in his mid-twenties. His parents had been good, down-to-earth, and wise people but perfection they were not.

  No one is perfect.

  Poor Maddie was getting this lesson rather late in life.

  “He screwed up,” Tanner agreed. “But he didn’t make a habit of it. He made a mistake and I’m sure that he’s regretted it greatly. He loves you, honey. That much I know for sure. He thinks the sun rises and sets on you. You and Amanda, of course.”

  “He cheated,” she repeated. “How am I supposed to get over that?”

  “You need to give yourself more time than a few hours. He only told you tonight. Of course, it’s going to be a shock to the system.”

  “I’m angry with him,” she whispered as if ashamed to say it. “I’m so mad at him. I don’t even know what I’m going to do with this anger. I don’t even want to look at him right now.”

  “Then don’t. You don’t have to talk to him for awhile. Take a break from one another and see how you feel in a week or a month. Maybe longer. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do.”

  Sighing, she shook her head. “He wants me to meet her. He wants us to get along and become friends. Sisters.”

  “You’re not interested in meeting her? It’s not her fault what happened. She’s just an innocent bystander like you.”

  “I don’t know how I feel,” Maddie confessed. “If you’re asking me right at this moment if I want to meet her, the answer is no. Tomorrow? I have no idea. She’d be a constant reminder of how my dad let my mother down. And yes, I know it’s not her fault. I just…”

  “Want to forget Greg ever said anything to you about this? You think if you don’t meet her this might be a little less real?”

  “When you say it like that, I sound delusional and a tad pathetic.”

  “You couldn’t be pathetic if you tried.”

  “But delusional? That’s a possibility,” Maddie said in a teasing tone.

  He was happy to see her lighten up and start to smile. She wasn’t the type to let life get her down too much. She was far too strong.

  “Only in the nicest sense. We can all delude ourselves at times, if only to ignore something until we’re ready to deal with it.”

  “I don’t think I’m ready to deal with this. Not tonight.”

  “As I said before, you don’t have to. You can take all the time you want. As for meeting your half-sister, take your time on that, too.”

  “She wants to meet me. He said she’s excited to have family. I guess she and her mom didn’t have many relatives around so she’s happy about getting a sister.”

  “Don’t let someone else’s wants blind you to what it is that you need. If you need time, don’t be bulldozed into a meeting.”

  Maddie fell back on the mattress, her arms spread wide. “I don’t think I’m going to get any sleep tonight.”

  Tanner had an idea. She needed a distraction.

  “Give me twenty minutes,” he said. “Change back into clothes, pack a small bag, and be ready to go.”

  “Go?” she echoed. “Go where?”

  “If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise.”

  “Am I going to like it?”

  “I wouldn’t do it if I thought you were going to hate it.”

  She levered up from the bed. “Good point. But you know how I am about surprises.”

  “I do,” he confirmed. “You’re firmly in the okay-but-unsure category. After all of these years together, I hope you trust me.”

  “Are we going to end up in Vegas? Because I’ll need to pack for that.”

  He couldn’t help but chuckle at her guarded expression. Leave it to Maddie to think that Las Vegas was some sort of punishment, not fun.

  “Do you want to go to Vegas? That wasn’t the destination that I had in mind, but I can be persuaded to buy two plane tickets. Just say the word.”

  “You’d do it, too.”

  “Hell, yes. Are you saying you want to go?”

  “I’m not sure. Is Paris on my list of options?”

  “Maddie, when was the last time I said ‘no’ to you?”

  “Last week when I said we should trade in your old pickup truck.”

  “I only said no because that truck is a classic. They don’t make them like that anymore.”

  “And for good reason. It’s a death trap.”

  It was far from it, but he could admit that the truck had seen better years. He, however, loved it. It reminded him of when life was a hell of a lot simpler, back when he was just the sheriff of a sleepy little Montana town.

  So much had changed since then.

  “I’m going to let that remark pass because I know that you have issues about my truck.”

  “If you won’t get rid of the truck, can we talk about that old brown sweater with the holes in it?”

  She was always trying to throw it out, but he always caught it before it made it to the curb.

  “That’s my favorite sweater.”

  “It’s the color of poop, Tanner.”

  “It’s a warm golden brown.”

  “It’s like a fuzzy turd. And it has holes in it.”

  “I’m going to let that remark go, too. Now let’s get going. The sooner we get on the road, the sooner we get to our destination.”

  If Maddie needed a distraction, he was here to deliver. Maybe someday she’d be excited about spontaneity. For now, he’d accept cautiously optimistic.

  4

  When they’d first hit the road, Maddie didn’t have a clue as to where they were headed. Tanner had stuffed the back of the SUV full of stuff but he hadn’t allowed her to take a peek. He’d said that he had it all handled and all she needed to do was sit back and relax. With the evening she’d had that was easier said than done.

  But when he’d taken a certain turn off from the main road, she’d known what their destination was, and she could feel her excitement building. They hadn’t been to Jared Monroe’s cabin in the mountains in a long time. Years. Amanda had been quite young at the time, but their daughter had enjoyed fishing and hiking. This time they would be alone.

  That sounded like exactly what she needed. Some quality time with the man she loved.

  Who sometimes frustrated the heck out of her.

  But as far as she knew, he’d never cheated on her. That was more than she could say about her father.

  Stop. Stop thinking about it.

  That’s why she desperately needed a distraction. She needed to get her mind off of the whole sleazy situation.

  “Don’t you have campaign meetings tomorrow or something like that? The election is in November.”

  “And it’s only May. I canceled a few and moved the others. This is more important. With you on a partial leave of absence, we finally have the chance to spend a little time together. Spontaneously.”

  He was all about spontaneity. Her? Not so much. She liked her days to be more structured. Tanner liked structure, too, but when he got a wild idea? Katie bar the door.

  “I took that leave of absence so that I could help with the campaign, not take unexpec
ted vacations. And your campaign manager must be furious.”

  “He is. He’ll get over it. I assured him that when I came back, he’d have my complete attention. Most of it, anyway.”

  “We still probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

  It hadn’t been easy either to find someone to fill in at the family clinic, but eventually she’d found a bright young doctor named Mike that was willing to relocate. She wanted to slow down a bit and have the opportunity to do crazy things like this trip.

  “There’s plenty left of the campaign, but it’s nice that we have a couple of days to ourselves. And don’t worry about Amanda. I told her that we were getting out of town for a few days and probably wouldn’t have cell service at the cabin.”

  “You woke her up?”

  “Honey, Amanda is almost nineteen and just got home from college. She was not asleep. I’d wager that she hasn’t been to bed before midnight much in the past year.”

  “She doesn’t like being home,” Maddie replied with a heavy sigh. “I think she misses school. We’re far too boring for her.”

  “Hopefully, she’s going to have lots of fun helping with the campaign this summer. In just a few days, she and Josh have already shown themselves to be an asset.”

  “We’re supposed to be discouraging Josh from becoming a cop this summer.”

  Tanner laughed. “Josh seems like he has a mind of his own. He’s a smart young man, and he’ll make the best choice for himself with or without our assistance.”

  “He’s a genius,” Maddie replied. “Like a real one with a high IQ. Kaylee wants me to convince him to go to medical school.”

  “Does he want to be a doctor? Is he in pre-med?”

  “He’s studying computer science, but people change their majors all the time.”

  “Everybody needs to back off that poor young man and let him breathe a bit. Because he’s so smart everyone thinks they know what he should do or be. What if he wants to be a painter? Or a musician?”

  “You know Kaylee and Reed will support him in whatever he does. They simply want him to know all the avenues that are open to him.”

  They pulled up in front of the cabin, the place dark. They were far away from civilization and there were no lights out this far except for the bright moon, which cast a shadow over the lake.

  “Let me jump out and unlock the door. We’re going to need the porch light on to unpack the car.”

  “How do you even have a key? We haven’t been here in years.”

  “Jared gave me one a long time ago. If anything needed done to the cabin, he couldn’t do much about it in Seattle. He asked me to keep an eye on it. I drive up here a couple times a year and make sure the place hasn’t been broken into and is clean.”

  Maddie almost smacked her own forehead.

  “This is where you go when you’re on one of your thinking drives? How did I not know this?”

  Every now and then, Tanner would go on a drive around Montana. He said he did it to clear his head and have a little time to just think. She’d never questioned it, understanding that he needed to get away even if it was only for a day.

  “Because you’re a wonderful, loving, and understanding wife who didn’t feel the need to pepper me with questions when I expressed a desire to simply get lost in nature.”

  “You make me sound like a pushover.”

  “I make you sound like the wonderful wife that you are. I’ve always been grateful that you’ve given me the space when I’ve needed to go off and do some thinking. This was just a convenient destination. Before Jared asked me to keep an eye on the cabin, I’d drive somewhere else.”

  Tanner hopped out of the vehicle and unlocked the door, reaching in to turn on the porch light. Maddie climbed out and between the two of them they had all of their things in the cabin with only a few trips back and forth.

  “You thought of everything,” Maddie said, beginning to unpack a brown paper bag of food. There was also a cooler for the items that needed to be kept cold on the drive up. “Steaks, potatoes, snacks, and drinks. You’re a sneaky man. I didn’t even see you packing up our kitchen.”

  “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “You managed it.”

  It only took a few minutes to stow away the food and their few belongings. Soon they were standing in the middle of the living room with nothing left to do. It was the middle of the night and there was no television or Wi-Fi. If she’d known where they were going, she would have packed a book. She had the latest bestseller sitting on her nightstand, and she didn’t get nearly enough time to finish it.

  “Do you want to go to bed?” Tanner asked. “We can stay up if you’re not tired.”

  She could see the fatigue that he was trying hard not to show. He’d been “on” all night for the dinner attendees and he would be exhausted, wanting time to recharge his batteries.

  Her body was tired, but her mind was still going a mile a minute. Sleep wouldn’t come easily but she didn’t want to keep her husband from getting his rest. When they left here, he was going to need every bit of it.

  “Let’s go to bed,” she replied. “It’s already almost morning. We can sleep in if we need to.”

  They probably wouldn’t but they could. When Amanda was a child, she’d been an early bird. It didn’t matter when the adults went to sleep, their daughter would be up with the chickens the next morning. Maddie had clear memories of explaining how the time changed and setting clocks back an hour, but Amanda hadn’t been convinced. They’d spent the winter getting up in the dark.

  It was sort of funny because Amanda loved to sleep in now. Last summer, she’d barely been up before noon unless she was scheduled to work. Maddie had been tempted to go into her daughter’s room at dawn, jump on the bed, and then demand cinnamon toast.

  Of course, she hadn’t actually done it. But she’d been sorely tempted.

  Maddie and Tanner slid between the cool sheets, his body cuddling close to hers. She always felt so warm and protected when he was the big spoon. He fell asleep almost instantly, his even breathing the only sound in the bedroom.

  To her surprise, her own eyelids grew heavy and she drifted off to sleep despite her muddled thoughts. With any luck, tomorrow would be a better day.

  Maddie was too keyed up to sleep. She had far too much going on in her head to be able to rest for more than an hour or two. Tanner was sleeping peacefully next to her, so she quietly slipped out of the bed and headed out to the living room, a blanket wrapped around her. When they’d unpacked the food, she’d seen a few packets of hot chocolate mix. She’d make herself a cup and try to relax.

  It didn’t take long to heat the milk and stir in the chocolate. The only thing missing was some marshmallows, but it would be fine. Sitting on the couch, she placed the blanket over her legs and sipped at the cocoa.

  The fact was she was angry, and when she was like this - which wasn’t very often - she couldn’t get to sleep. Her mind was simply too active, not giving her even a brief respite.

  “I woke up and you weren’t in bed.”

  She turned to see Tanner standing in the doorway to the bedroom, a confused look on his face. His hair was sticking up slightly in the back and his eyes were sleepy. He looked absolutely adorable, although he might not thank her for thinking it.

  “I couldn’t sleep but I didn’t want to wake you up.”

  He came to sit next to her on the couch, pulling the end of the blanket over him so they were snuggled together.

  “You’re still thinking about your dad.”

  “Yes.”

  She wouldn’t deny what was true.

  “You’re mad.”

  “Yes. I wish I wasn’t. I don’t want to feel like this.”

  “That’s why you can’t sleep. You’re fighting being angry instead of simply accepting that you feel that way. You have a right to feel what you feel, Maddie. It’s not a bad thing.”

  “I don’t like being mad at my father.”

  “I know you don’t but I think you need to let yourself be mad so you can work through it. Denying it isn’t helping you. At least not tonight it isn’t.”

  “So I just let myself be mad?”

  “Yes, and then you let me rub your shoulders. I can feel how tense you are just sitting here next to you.”

  There was no way she was going to turn down a shoulder rub.