Cruel Grace: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 5) Page 3

  There was no answer for a moment, and Charlie thought that Eli might not be home. Since he only lived a few feet away, she knew his schedule almost as well as her own. Unless he was traveling - which he did often - he rarely deviated from his usual day.

  Slightly deflated after gathering her courage to knock, she stepped away to go back to her own home when the door swung open. Eli stood there, clearly fresh from a shower, his hair still damp and his feet bare. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a black t-shirt that looked far too good on him.

  I’m not yesterday’s mashed potatoes. So say something. Speak up.

  “Hi.”

  Okay, I had something more eloquent in mind, but it will have to do.

  “Hi,” he said, running his fingers through his damp hair. “How are you?”

  “Good. I’m good. How about you?”

  Christ on a cracker, this was painful. Conversation had flowed so easily the other night. Now it was weird and awkward. Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea after all.

  Mission failure. Regroup.

  “I’m good. Glad it’s Friday,” he replied with a smile. “I’m looking forward to the weekend.”

  Why? Did he have a date? She hadn’t considered that. Oh hell, what if there was a woman sitting in his apartment right now?

  What if they had been in the shower together?

  Mortified, Charlie could feel the heat in her cheeks. She’d messed up. Before she had a chance to flee back across the hall Eli stepped back, opening the door wider.

  “Did you want to come in? I was just about to crack open a beer after a long week.”

  Well…he wouldn’t invite her inside if he had a half-naked woman.

  Just do it. Take a chance. I’ve come this far. I might as well humiliate myself completely.

  “Actually, I was coming over to invite you for a drink. I haven’t had the chance to thank you for saving me the other night.”

  “It was my pleasure.”

  There was something in his gaze that hadn’t been there a minute ago. Warmth? Friendliness?

  “And I would like to come over for a drink,” he continued. “Can you give me five minutes?”

  Relief flooded every millimeter of her body. She almost sagged against the doorframe. She might even be sweating a little on her palms. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d asked out a man, or when it had meant so much.

  And why does it mean so much? I barely know him.

  “Sure. Yes. I can do that. Take as much time as you need.”

  He grinned, showing off a dimple in his cheek. “I only need a few minutes. Then I’ll be right over.”

  There wasn’t anything more to say so she quickly backed away with a lame wave, finally closing her front door behind her. It was over.

  He’d said yes.

  She’d taken the leap. Dana would be thrilled when she told her.

  It might be great. It might crash and burn. Predicting the future was futile. Dwelling on the past hadn’t served her well, either.

  She could only live in the present.

  To say that Eli was shocked would be an understatement. Frankly, he was floored. He’d thought that Charlie would spend the next several years ducking him until one of them moved out of the building. When she’d showed up at his door tonight after work, for a moment he’d thought something might be wrong. An emergency, perhaps? But her demeanor hadn’t been one of smoke in the kitchen or blood on the carpet.

  He didn’t waste any more time, running a comb through his half-dry hair and pulling on socks and shoes. He took a look in the mirror and frowned at the casual t-shirt he was wearing. It might be a good idea to put on a different shirt, something a step up. But he didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard. He didn’t truly know why she’d suddenly stopped avoiding him and asked him over. It could be guilt that she felt she hadn’t thanked him properly or it could be...

  Shit, he didn’t know.

  Maybe she’d been thinking about that spark between them for the last two weeks just like he had.

  If she’d even felt that spark. He couldn’t be sure. The fact that he’d felt it was still surprising. He’d dated some in the last few years, always casual. To be honest, he wasn’t sure that pursuing this so-called spark was wise. He’d spent so much time avoiding a relationship, he wasn’t sure that he remembered how to be in one. Or whether he wanted one to begin with.

  He was fine on his own. He’d worked through his grief as much as anyone could be expected to. Debra would always be someone he loved, owning a piece of his heart that was hers alone. But he’d come to Seattle to get a new start. For the most part, he’d succeeded. Professionally, for sure. Personally? The jury was out.

  Maybe I’m just too old and set in my ways.

  Despite the doubts and questions, Eli showed up at Charlie’s less than five minutes later. Her condo was a mirror of his own, although decorated far differently with more homier touches and flashes of bright colors. When he’d purchased his home, he’d kept his decor choices simple and safe so there was a great deal of blue and beige.

  Charlie, however, didn’t appear to have any of the same trepidations. The throw pillows were red and gold, the painting over the fireplace was filled with jewel tones, and the kitchen towels had cute cows on them. He saw them when he followed her there while she opened a beer for him. She had a glass of chardonnay.

  He accepted his beverage but his attention was caught by the wall near the windows. There were several photographs, maybe even a couple of dozen hung on the walls, color and black and white. He wanted to walk over there and look. He’d love to see a picture of Charlie as a child but that little voice in the back of his head was telling him not to do it.

  What if I see a photo of Charlie and Kendra?

  That was another thing he needed to sort out. He knew something about her, something that she might be keeping a secret. He didn’t know her that well but he knew something extremely personal. She needed to know that he knew. It would be the only honest way forward.

  He didn’t have a clue how to bring it up or work it into the conversation.

  By the way, I know that your friend was murdered several years ago.

  That was a sure way to bring an abrupt halt to the evening.

  Charlie must have noticed his gaze on the photos, however, because she smiled and walked over to the wall, pointing to one of the pictures.

  “That’s me and my family at Disney. This other one is when we went to the Grand Canyon. We weren’t rolling in dough growing up so our vacations were always a big deal.”

  Eli came to stand beside her, studying the photos of Charlie as a child. Her hair was cut short in a pixie but her features were the same. She was smiling widely standing next to what looked like a few brothers.

  She chuckled and pointed to another photo. “That’s me the first day of high school. I was so nervous but I didn’t want anyone to know.”

  The teenager in that picture didn’t look anxious. She was standing next to her brothers, their arms linked, grins on their faces.

  “I assume those are your brothers?”

  “They are,” she confirmed, the pride in her voice easy to identify. “We’re all close in ages. Rick is a year older than I am, and Tyler is a year younger. Rick is a lawyer for the government and Tyler became a pediatrician.”

  “And your parents?”

  “They’re talking about retiring in the next ten years. They’re both teachers.”

  Debra had been a teacher, too. Second grade. Eli had almost opened his mouth and said it out loud but then thought better of it. It wasn’t a secret that he was a widower, but that revelation had a tendency to make people around him uncomfortable.

  No one wanted to talk about death. He didn’t blame them.

  Since Charlie seemed fine with it, Eli set his gaze wander over the photographs, pausing at one where she was in her cap and gown.

  “High school graduation?”

  “Yes, that was a gre
at day. My grandparents traveled down from Michigan to be there. We had a huge family party. My parents loved to have people over. They loved to cook and entertain. Still do, actually. Any excuse for a party.”

  “Your parents sound pretty great.”

  Her fingers rested on a picture of a couple on their wedding day, definitely from more than a few decades ago. “They are. They are the best parents. Just the best.”

  “It sounds like you had a happy childhood.”

  “I did.” Her eyes widened and she appeared rather dismayed. “Did you not? Have a happy childhood, that is? I can stop talking about mine if it’s bad for you.”

  “No, not at all.” Eli shook his head, chuckling. “I had a good childhood as well, although I’m an only child.”

  “That sounds lonely.”

  He shrugged. “I had lots of cousins and friends. I never felt lonely. Plus it was great not to have to share my toys or my parents’ attention. I guess I was probably spoiled a little that way. The first time I lived with another person it was quite the adjustment.”

  “Learning to share can be tough.”

  Debra had quickly put Eli in his place, not taking any of his shit.

  “I think I caught on pretty quick.”

  He’d been living alone a long time now. He might be too set in his ways to compromise again.

  “We should sit down and relax. You said you had a long week.”

  Eli followed Charlie back to the sofa where they both settled in. The beer was good and cold, just what he needed after the day he’d had.

  “I did have a long week. But I do like being busy. Makes the day go faster. What about you?”

  “I have a busy week, too. I finished up several projects and am heading into a slight lull right now. That’s the nature of freelancing. I’m either running around with my hair on fire or I’m twiddling my thumbs waiting on a client. There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground.”

  “Do you like being your own boss?”

  “I love it. I’m not sure I could ever work for someone else again.”

  “You have a problem with authority?” he asked with a laugh.

  “Definitely. Even as a child I didn’t like being told what to do.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “I’m getting hungry. I was thinking about ordering some takeout. Are you interested?”

  Eli was interested. He could feel that spark again, and he felt it was safe to assume that she felt it, too. She wouldn’t ask him to stay for dinner if she didn’t. If she was only being polite, she’d push him out of the door when he’d finished his beer. Instead she’d asked him to stay longer. A positive sign.

  He wanted to accept. But…

  It appeared that they’d come to a crossroads. He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t know.

  “I’d like that.”

  He paused, not sure how to put what he needed to say into words. He could only imagine what she’d been through. Now he was going to bring it up all over again.

  “But?”

  He tried to give her his most reassuring smile. “No buts. I would really like to stay for dinner. There’s just something that I need to tell you first.”

  Her own smile dropped and she leaned back and away from him. “Are you married or something?”

  Her misconception would have been funny…at any other time.

  “Hell, no. You’re my neighbor. Have you seen a woman?”

  “No, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t married.”

  “I’m not married,” he said firmly. “I’m a widower.”

  “I know. I am sorry about your wife.”

  She’d said that before in his apartment.

  “I wasn’t sure if you remembered me mentioning it the other night. No, I want to tell you something else.”

  She seemed to take a deep breath, the tension in her body relaxing slightly. “Then what is it that you want to tell me? Do you have a gambling addiction? A substance abuse problem? Can’t hold down a job? Are you unnaturally close to your mother?”

  She’d tried to lighten the mood. Sadly, he had a feeling that he was only going to make it worse. He just needed to do it. Rip off the band-aid. She might throw him out afterward but at least he’d been honest.

  “None of those things.” He set his beer on a coaster on the coffee table, steeling himself for whatever emotional response he might receive. “I know about your friend, Charlie. I know about Kendra and how she was murdered.”

  Chapter Four

  Charlie’s world tilted and her vision blurred for a moment. She had to grab the couch cushion to keep from losing her balance despite being in a sitting position. For a moment it had sounded like Eli had said he knew about Kendra’s murder. She couldn’t be sure because there was a roaring sound in her ears currently.

  Except she hadn’t told him. The people in the building didn’t know. So how on earth would he know?

  Wait, he was a cop. Or he had been one.

  “Did you have a background check done on me?”

  She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, the righteous anger building in her gut. He’d had no right to do that. She was ready to throw his sorry ass out of her home and never see him again. Bile rose in her throat, and she had to set her wine glass down so her shaky hands wouldn’t spill the liquid.

  “No. No, not at all. I would never do that,” Eli protested, his own face turning red. “I would never violate your privacy like that, Charlie. Ever.”

  “Then how do you know about Kendra? I sure as hell didn’t tell you.”

  She jumped up from the sofa, too rattled to be able to stay still. Her past wasn’t something she talked about with strangers. Eli wasn’t a total stranger but she didn’t know him well.

  Now she was wondering whether she wanted to know him at all.

  “A stack of cold case files came across my desk. Kendra’s case was one of them. There were a few pictures of the two of you in the folder. I recognized you.”

  Charlie stopped pacing, turning her gaze to Eli. “A cold case? What does that mean? Are they reopening the investigation? Do they have new information?”

  For a brief moment, she allowed herself to feel some hope. She’d never thought after all of these years that anything would change. She’d go to her grave never knowing what had happened to Kendra.

  “Not that I know of,” he said with a shake of his head. “They were pulled by an intern for case studies.”

  “Case studies?”

  Sighing, Eli rubbed the back of his neck. “Training purposes. Asking new hires how they would handle a cold case. What would they do? How would they go about reopening the investigation? It’s purely a simulation, not an actual investigation of the case.”

  This evening was rapidly becoming her worst nightmare. Some intern knew about her and Kendra? They knew the grisly details of the case?

  “An intern?” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. “You have an intern digging into the personal details of people who have been through tragedy? I have to say that’s horrific. Just horrifying.”

  Eli shook his head. “They don’t have anything but what is basically public. That’s it. Nothing personal.”

  Pressing her lips together to keep them from trembling, she had to take a deep breath before she could answer.

  “It’s personal to me. And to Kendra. She’s not just some case to talk about in a conference room. She was a real, live human being that didn’t deserve to be murdered.”

  That word. Murder. Charlie hadn’t said it out loud in years. Even now it tasted bitter on her tongue. Eli stood as well, coming to stand next to her. His presence felt too close, too overwhelming and she had to take a step back to give herself some space.

  “No one deserves to be murdered, Charlie. That’s why we as law enforcement train. We can’t send investigators out into the world not knowing how to do their job. I want you to know that we give all of these cases and victims all the respect that they deserve. That’s why my firm does so many of th
e cold case investigations. Everyone deserves justice no matter how much time has passed.”

  That sounded...better.

  “Let’s just say that my experience with law enforcement wasn’t a positive one with respect on both sides.”

  “The detectives gave you a bad time?”

  “Yes.”

  “Kendra’s parents blamed you.”

  He didn’t make it sound like a question.

  “There was quite a bit in that file.”

  “Newspaper articles. They thought you knew something or were protecting someone.”

  “They were wrong. I told the police everything I knew.”

  “I’m not defending what they did at all, but I’ve seen some parents do some pretty desperate shit after losing a child. Did you get on with them before?”

  Charlie shook her head. “I’d barely met them. Just a few times. They seemed nice.”

  She had to admit that she’d always had a weird vibe from them, especially the mom. She couldn’t put her finger on it, though. The whole family dynamic seemed far different than her own upbringing.

  “Charlie, I can help you if you want me to. I can work on the investigation on my own time.” Eli gave her an encouraging smile. “I’m actually pretty good at my job, and I have great resources at the consulting firm that I can call on. I’d be happy to reopen the case and see if I can make any headway on it.”

  Too many times.

  Too many times Charlie’s hopes had risen only to be dashed away. Even tonight, for a moment she’d thought that the case had new information, maybe a witness had come forward after all of these years.

  Nope. Just training.

  “I think you should go back to your own apartment.”

  The words were out of her mouth before she even realized she was speaking. She, however, didn’t regret them. She needed time. Space. Distance. She needed to think about the one thing she’d tried not to think about for a damn long time.