Gilded Craving: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 3) Read online

  It was more than just her looks, although she was incredibly gorgeous. It was the way she stood up to him, not letting him get away with anything. She wasn't in the least impressed with him and yet he knew that she had feelings for him as well. He could see it in her green eyes, currently bright with unshed tears.

  She felt it, too. This riptide of emotion that was almost pulling him under with its undeniable force. He could only do one thing.

  He reached out and pulled her into his arms.

  She didn't resist. Quite the contrary, she pressed herself against him, every curve tucked neatly against him. His head spun as her scent filled his nostrils. It wasn't flowery because that wasn't Mariah. This aroma was something akin to witchcraft. Musky, but subtle, with hints of spice. His hands slid down her spine as he pressed his face into the hollow of her shoulder and inhaled deeply into his aching lungs. If he lived to be a hundred and fifty, he'd never forget the heady way she smelled. Blue jeans and t-shirt or expensive evening gown, it was always the same.

  Mariah.

  "Ryan," she whispered when his lips found that spot at the base of her neck that he knew drove her crazy with need. Her fingers tightened on his biceps as he nibbled at the velvety skin. "More."

  She never needed to ask. He'd give her anything she wanted.

  He left a trail of kisses over her jaw and to her mouth, her lips parting instantly to give him access. She tasted of coffee and chocolate and Mariah.

  At some point, they must have drifted across the room in each other's arms because they were now lying on his childhood bed, like so many times before, only this time he was a grown man and she didn't have to be home by midnight. He could make love to her all night long.

  "Oh my God! I knew it! You two are back together."

  He'd been so lost in kissing Mariah that he hadn't heard the click of the door or noticed the shaft of light from the hallway. Dragging his lips from hers, he lifted his head to snarl a reply to his nosy sister Liza but Mariah beat him to it. She pushed at his shoulders so he had to roll away and she sat up, fussing with the neckline of her sundress.

  "Liza, I love you like a sister. I'd take a bullet for you, but if you don't get the hell out of this bedroom immediately, I'm going to tell Mike that you had strippers at your bachelorette party."

  There was a giggle and Liza slapped her hand over her mouth, but she backed out of the room and the door snapped shut. They were alone again.

  But the mood was gone. In its place was an uneasiness, a pesky tension. It was different than before but no less maddening. Ryan once again didn't know what to say, so he said the first thing that popped into his head.

  "I didn't know Liza had strippers at her bachelorette party."

  "She didn't. But it wouldn't stop me from telling Mike that."

  "You play dirty."

  "Did you want her to hang around and try and get us to talk about our relationship?"

  That sounded like pure hell.

  "Fuck, no."

  "Then you're welcome."

  Levering up from the mattress, he sat next to her on the bed. "So what do we do now?"

  He had a few ideas and in most of them they were horizontal. But he wasn't fussy. Up against the wall would be fine, too.

  "We straighten our clothes, wipe the lipstick off of your face, and then go downstairs and try to pretend that we weren't pawing at each other for the last fifteen minutes."

  That wasn't the answer he was hoping for.

  "What did you think we were going to do?" she said with a short laugh. "Just continue on? Your parents probably have a decent idea as to why we both disappeared. It's going to be embarrassing as it is when we go downstairs."

  He hadn't really thought about his parents.

  "I'm not really thinking straight at the moment. Too little blood in my brain cells. And please don't mention my parents at a time like this. They don't help matters."

  Giggling, she stood and walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall. Snapping on the desk lamp, she fluffed her hair and tugged at her clothing.

  "Does mentioning your mommy dampen your...enthusiasm?"

  "Hell, yes. So stop, okay?"

  She turned then, a smile playing on her kiss-swollen lips. His parents were definitely going to notice that she looked ravished.

  "I'm doing it on purpose. Do you want to go downstairs with...that?" With a smirk, she pointed at his tented trousers. "You'll scare them to death."

  It was good that they could laugh about this. Right?

  "You have a point. Maybe we should wait a minute or two."

  With her standing there looking amazing, it wasn't easy to cool down, though.

  "Do you want me to help some more? We can talk about the time you jumped in that ice-cold lake in the mountains. Remember how cold that was?"

  Ball-shriveling cold.

  "That did it. I'm good." He stood and realized that she'd managed to get a few of his shirt buttons undone. "Let's go downstairs, make some excuse so we can get out of here, then go back to your place and pick up where we left off."

  She simply laughed at him. "Do you honestly think that it's going to be that easy? Your sister is downstairs."

  Shit. Liza wasn't going to let this go. They both had to walk downstairs and deal with her. She'd probably already told his parents and called a justice of the peace for an impromptu wedding ceremony.

  He'd kissed Mariah and now everything was different.

  He just didn't know how different. Or what this all meant.

  They needed to figure it out before they faced his family. Except that Mariah was already opening the door and heading into the hallway. Too late to talk.

  For a moment, he contemplated turning the other direction and sneaking out of the back door but that wasn't an option. He had to go downstairs and act confident, as if everything was normal and not a big deal.

  But kissing Mariah was a big damn deal.

  And he wanted to do it again.

  20

  Mariah didn't say much to Ryan when they joined his family out on the back terrace. She didn't say much when she bid them goodbye either. She didn't say a single word on the drive back to the apartment.

  The plain truth was she didn't know what to say.

  She'd wanted to kiss Ryan. She could admit that to herself. She'd been thinking about it since he'd returned to Chicago and, to be honest, their encounter in his childhood bedroom had been inevitable. There was simply too much chemistry between the two of them to ignore. It had always been there and had never dimmed, although she'd been shocked by how it had intensified. His mere touch was electric.

  She didn't regret kissing him either. He was a damn fine kisser and if anything had only become more skilled since their last make-out session.

  But...this was more than a kiss. This was a big deal.

  It could never be casual between them and they both knew that. There wouldn't be any hooking up and then saying goodbye a few days or weeks later as if what happened didn't matter.

  It did matter. They mattered. They'd crossed over a line tonight and while she didn't want to go backward, she sure as hell didn't know what was ahead. Were they both really ready to try again? She wanted a second chance with him, but it wasn't going to be easy. They had over a decade and a thousand miles between them. It would be hard work to bridge that gap.

  It would be worth it, but they both had to be all in. No half measures. Watching him walk out of her life again would be too painful. It had been hard enough the first time.

  To his credit, Ryan didn't try and get her to talk much, letting the silence settle uncomfortably between them. They both knew they were going to have to talk eventually but it was good to try and wrangle all the thoughts and emotions into something moderately coherent.

  If he's not all in, it will be okay. I'll survive. Heartbroken, but okay. I'll move on.

  Her life had been perfectly fine before he'd returned, and it could be fine again. It would be better with Ryan in it but th
at might not be an option.

  She unlocked her apartment door and dropped her purse and keys on the kitchen counter, Ryan on her heels.

  "Do you want a glass of wine?"

  He shook his head. "Not really. Do you want to slap my face?"

  Straight to the point. It was a relief, honestly. No circling the topic or beating around the bush. They'd just get down to it. It was the best way.

  "No. Is that something you're into now? Getting slapped? Because that's not my kink."

  Ryan threw back his head and laughed, which was exactly what she'd hoped he would do. It helped ease the wall of tension that had built up between them on the way home.

  "Sassy as ever, babe. That's what I love about you. And no, that isn't my kink either. I was just wondering if you were feeling that I took advantage of you. I made the first move."

  "And I made the second," Mariah replied, settling into the corner of the couch and tucking her bare feet under her. "I have no regrets."

  "That's good."

  They stared at one another for a long moment, neither one wanting to be the next to speak. This was the tricky part.

  Sighing, she rolled her eyes. "So...talk to me. We kissed. Do you want to do it again? Because I do."

  "Hell, yes. Of course I want to do it again."

  He was still standing in the middle of the living room.

  "But we need to talk," she finally said. "We need to decide if it's a good idea. If we can really do this."

  His shoulders slumped slightly. "I want to make this work, Mariah. I'm just going to take a leap of faith and put that out there. I've never been able to get you out of my head or my heart. I want a second chance. What about you?"

  He'd been brave and now she had to do the same. Her heart was pounding and her hands were shaking so hard she had to tuck them under her knees. For all her jokes and bravado, she was scared shitless. It was like jumping off a cliff and praying that someone below had accidentally left a mattress behind to break your fall.

  There were no guarantees. They'd grown up but had they changed enough? She didn't have the answer.

  "I want that, too," she said, sounding almost breathless which wasn't surprising. She was almost dizzy just sitting here from lack of oxygen. "I'm scared, though."

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Me, too. I don't want to fuck this up. I want this to work, Mariah."

  "But...?"

  "No buts. I want this to work and I'm willing to do what it takes. I just–"

  He broke off just as Mariah had finally taken a deep breath.

  "So there is a but."

  "I don't want us to fall into old habits. We've both changed. I just want it to be enough."

  At least they had the same fears. It would be easier to face them together.

  "Can I tell you something that I learned from my marriage and divorce?"

  "Yes, as long as it's not how much you loved and adored him."

  Rubbing at her temple, she shook her head. "I learned that no matter what you do or how hard you work, if you're not with the right person it's not going to be okay. Bobby and I did everything that we were supposed to do. We went to marriage counseling. We did all the homework, we went on date nights, and we shared our feelings. Ultimately, it didn't matter because we just weren't right for one another."

  He gave her a dubious look. "I'm not sure what you're saying here."

  "I guess what I'm saying is that I think that you're the right person."

  It was scary saying it out loud. They'd been apart a long time.

  "I think that you are, too," he said softly. "I want to make this work. I don't want to walk away and wonder what might have happened."

  She didn't either.

  "You don't live in Chicago."

  She wasn't sure why she was bringing up that fact at this particular moment. It was just one of a myriad of issues that they'd face in the future. Perhaps she wanted to see right here and right now if he'd compromise. He'd had trouble with that before.

  "I don't," he agreed. "That's going to be an issue. I can talk to my bosses about possibly working out of Chicago. I don't know if they'll agree to it, but I can try."

  "You would do that?"

  "I can only try. If they say no, then I'll have to travel back and forth. I would hope you would travel, too."

  "I would." She nodded, her mind going a million miles an hour. He'd done it. He was capable of compromise. She could almost hear angels singing. "I might consider moving to Seattle, if you can't move here."

  His brows shot up. "You'd leave Chicago? You love it here."

  She almost opened her mouth to tell him that she loved him too, but it was too soon to be making emotional declarations. They had much to work out.

  "I won't ask you to make all of the compromises. It wouldn't be fair."

  "Careful," he chuckled. "We're almost sounding like a mature couple. We don't want to get too crazy."

  "We do sound mature. How boring," Mariah teased. "Next thing you know we'll be discussing the weather and fire insurance."

  "Fire insurance is important," he agreed with mock solemnity. "And I think it's supposed to rain tomorrow."

  They both burst into laughter, the weird tension between them starting to drain away. They knew each other so well. Her date had been right. It didn't matter that they'd been apart for over a decade. They had a history together. She knew that he didn't like black olives and he knew that she cried easily when watching movies or television. She knew that Christmas was his favorite holiday and he knew that Halloween was hers. They knew the deep stuff, too - the fears and the dreams. She wanted to learn all about any new dreams he might have, too.

  "I like the rain. I just don't like storms," she replied. It was inane but they were both just gazing at each other sort of stupidly. She wanted to stand up and run into his arms but she wasn't sure what the next step was.

  Luckily, Ryan appeared to know what to do at momentous moments like this. He stepped forward, a smile playing on his handsome face.

  "Can I kiss you again?"

  She wanted that. More than she wanted to breathe.

  Her heart raced and her hands trembled with emotion. She'd never admitted it to herself but this was what she'd wanted. Ryan.

  Gathering every bit of courage she had, she answered his question.

  "Only if you make love to me, too."

  From the grin on his face, she was pretty sure his answer was yes.

  21

  Mariah didn't remember making a conscious decision to move into the bedroom with Ryan but somehow that's where they'd ended up. Rolling around on her mattress, they couldn't seem to get enough of one another, their hands constantly touching, exploring, and pulling at clothes that were simply in the way.

  There was a confidence in Ryan that he hadn't had the last time they were together. Not that he hadn't been sure of himself...he had been. But now it was different. It was the quieter, more mature confidence of a man that was comfortable in his skin. There was no hesitation and there was also no haste. The sex with him had always been good but she could already tell that this time was going to be amazing. His fingers seemed to find all of the most sensitive spots on her body and his mouth and tongue were doing dangerously delicious things as well. It was so good and it was only the beginning. If they played their cards right, they'd get to do this together over and over again for years to come.

  She liked the sound of that. Together. For years. This man had owned her heart for so long. It was only fair that she owned his as well.

  Their clothes were in a forgotten heap on the floor as Ryan kissed a wet trail down her neck and between her breasts. The pads of his thumbs stroked her peaked nipples until she was twisting under him, soft sighs escaping from her lips.

  "Ryan," she whispered, her heavy lids fluttering closed.

  She heard his chuckle and then his tongue glided across her flesh, up and down, back and forth, making her reach out and clutch the back of his head so that his mouth
would go where she needed him the most. His lips closed around her nipple, the teeth slightly scraping and sending a rush of arousal through her veins and to the tips of her curled toes.

  Her fingers dug into his scalp as she writhed against the sheets, a bar of arousal beginning to form in her abdomen. She could hear the pounding of her heart as if a drum had taken up residence in her skull, picking up speed with every beat.

  Kissing his way down her belly, he nudged her legs apart with his wide shoulders. His tongue traced patterns on the sensitive skin of her inner thigh before traveling to her core. A shiver ran up her spine and her breath caught in her throat. Part of her wanted to scream his name and the other part wanted to sigh in pure ecstasy. She wasn't sure which side was going to win but she was leaning toward screaming at the top of her lungs. It had always been good but this time it was...more. They were more themselves so they could be more to each other.

  His warm lips pressed baby kisses against the slick flesh, and then he pressed a thick digit inside of her, swirling his finger against the hidden spots that only served to send her flying higher into the clouds. His tongue did wickedly naughty things on the outside while his fingers stroked from the inside, setting up a situation that was only going to end up one way.

  With an almighty explosion.

  Mariah fell over the edge with Ryan's name on her lips. She squeezed her eyes shut as her climax took control but that didn't stop her from seeing stars or feeling the world tilt on its axis. It also didn't stop her from clutching at his shoulders, something to steady herself when everything was spinning and whirling in her brain.

  When it was over, she opened her eyes to see him quietly lying beside her, his blue gaze taking in every detail. With any other human being she would have been embarrassed, hiding her face, but with Ryan it was different. She wanted to reveal the secrets of her soul to him, and she wanted to learn his as well.

  "That looked like fun," he finally said when the world had stopped spinning like a top. His breath was warm on her cheek. "Want to do it again?"