Gilded Craving: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 3) Read online

  "So Brad didn't know?"

  "Not that I know of. Unless she told him, of course."

  Ryan wasn't sure he was buying what Trent was selling.

  "You're telling me that you were sleeping with Brad's girlfriend and you didn't tell him? I find that hard to believe. I think you would have loved to tell him."

  "I would have," Trent smirked. "But I never got the chance. I was going to tell him when we were all in Hawaii."

  "Why didn't you tell him that night?"

  "Because he was drunk and so was I. I wanted him as close to sober as I could get when I told him."

  Hell of a weird friendship.

  "You hated him that much?"

  "I didn't hate Brad at all," Trent laughed with a shake of his head. "Brad was just...Brad. We'd grown up together. Let's face it, Ryan, we never got a chance to decide if we liked or didn't like each other. From the time we could walk we were all shoved in a group and told to be friends because our parents liked to hang out together. Did I like Brad? Hell if I know. Did you? Do you even really know how you felt about him? He didn't make it easy to like him, now did he?"

  Ryan didn't like to think - or speak - ill of the dead. His parents had drilled that into his head.

  "Brad had some issues..."

  Trent's brows shot up. "Issues? That's a fucking understatement. He was a mess, and I'll be honest here with you that I'm not surprised he ended up with his skull bashed in. He was a loudmouthed asshole who spent most of his time drunk and belligerent, but thought he was the coolest dude that ever lived. Yeah, he was cool when we were seventeen, but by the time we were twenty-one his antics were getting a little old. At least for me. Your mileage may vary, but I think you had less patience for his shit than I did. You just covered it better."

  "It's sounds like you hate him."

  "I'll say this again - I didn't hate him. I didn't love him either. He could be fun, I'll admit that. I liked competing with him because he was so easy to provoke. He hated to fucking lose at anything, and he was a sore winner, too. I was looking forward to Caroline screaming my name when he fucked her."

  It was hard for Ryan to believe he'd once been friends with these people, but he had. It didn't say much for his own taste.

  I was young and didn't know shit.

  "Do you hear yourself talking?" Ryan asked, exasperation in his tone. "You sound like the asshole here, not Brad."

  "I'm just telling it like it is. You wanted honesty and now you've got it. You just don't like what I'm saying, but you know that I'm right about Brad. That's why you two weren't close that last year. I heard he tried something with Mariah, but I don't think that's true."

  So the friend group had been talking about that? Ryan shouldn't have been surprised. They talked about everyone.

  "You think Brad was garbage but you don't think he tried something with Mariah? That doesn't make sense."

  Trent's smile grew wider. "I think that because if Brad had tried anything with Mariah you would have broken both of his arms and his pretty face, too."

  Ryan hadn't broken any of Brad's bones but he'd wanted to. It had only been the pleadings of Mariah that had kept him from doing it. She hadn't wanted what happened to ripple through their friend group.

  "I have more self-control than that."

  "Not about Mariah, you don't. I was always surprised that you two didn't get married."

  Lots of people had been surprised.

  "Some things aren't meant to be."

  "I don't believe in love," Trent declared. "At least not for me, but I always thought that if anyone had that it was you and Mariah."

  At one point, I thought that, too.

  "Love isn't always enough." Ryan didn't want to discuss his relationships. He needed to steer the conversation back on track. "I have one more question. Where did you go when you left the bar that night?"

  "I went back to my place. Caroline showed up about thirty minutes later and stayed until about five."

  That didn't match earlier statements.

  "Caroline told me that she went home alone."

  "She may have left the bar alone but she didn't stay that way. She showed up at my door half-drunk."

  "Her story is that she went straight home, went to sleep, and then to the airport in the morning."

  "I'm not lying. I was with her."

  "Can you prove it?"

  Laughing, Trent shook his head. "No, but then neither can she."

  That was true. That was the problem with cold cases.

  "Wait," Trent said, holding up his hand. "There might be someone that can back up my story. The guy who lived across the hall from me was a real night owl. If I came home from the bar alone, he would sometimes come over and we'd drink a few beers."

  "How did he know if you were alone?"

  "His balcony window overlooked my parking space. He'd sit out there and smoke. He might remember Caroline showing up that night."

  "I'll check him out. What was his name?"

  "Steve Alton. I remember that he had a weekly sports column in one of those newspapers that they give out free."

  That information narrowed it down just enough that Ryan might actually find the guy. But would he remember a random night over ten years ago?

  "I'll try and find him. Talk to him."

  "Tell him I said hello." Trent settled back down into the chair, his confidence returned. "I'm telling you the truth. I don't have anything to hide. I didn't like Brad that much but I didn't hurt him. I didn't have any reason to."

  It appeared that no one had a reason to, but somehow Brad had ended up dead. And Ryan didn't think that it was an accident.

  16

  Grant Hillard was a great guy. He owned his own successful business. He was intelligent, funny, and knew how to pair wines with food. He was well-read, well-traveled, and not in the least pretentious. Mariah had been on three dates with him and had enjoyed herself each time.

  But...something was missing. There was no spark, no excitement. Her pulse didn't pound and she didn't get breathless when she saw him even though he was quite good-looking. Today they were having lunch together because he needed to fly out on the red-eye for a business meeting in San Francisco.

  "I was thinking about getting us tickets to a show for next week," Grant said, digging into his salmon. "What do you think?"

  What did she think? She didn't know.

  To be honest, she'd barely paid attention the last twenty minutes or so.

  I was thinking about Ryan. Dammit.

  "A show? That sounds like fun."

  Setting his fork on the side of his plate, Grant dabbed at the corners of his mouth with a napkin. "Your expression doesn't match your words."

  "How so?"

  "Your words said it sounded like fun but your face looked like I was inviting you to a root canal with no anesthesia."

  Luckily, Grant was smiling so he wasn't upset.

  "I...don't know why my face was doing that," Mariah admitted with a sigh. "I haven't had a great couple of days, to be honest."

  "Is there anything I can do to help?"

  He was a nice guy. Really nice. She should be really attracted to him but...she wasn't. There was no zing.

  I want the zing. I admit it.

  "It's sweet that you offered but I think this is something I'm going to have to work out for myself. I'm just not the most patient person and I want it all to be fine right away."

  He nodded in understanding. "I get that. I can be impatient as well."

  "You seem pretty calm and relaxed," Mariah observed.

  "I try but everyone has their moments." He leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table between them. "You can talk to me if you want. I'm a good listener."

  Did Mariah even want to talk about it? And with Grant? One of the main rules of dating was that you didn't talk about an old boyfriend with a new one.

  "I guess I'm still upset about my friend Brad," she finally replied, taking a more neutral path. "It's all been such a
shock."

  She'd mentioned the situation to Grant so he knew some but not all the details.

  "You and Brad were close?"

  "We were all part of the same friend group, but no, we weren't best friends. But we all hung out together throughout our youth."

  "Then it must have been hard when he disappeared."

  "It was the not knowing that I think was the worst. Everyone had their own way of dealing with it. Some of us sort of made up stories in our heads about what might have happened. Apparently, Brad used to joke about faking his own death and running a tiki bar on some tropical island."

  "Faking one's own death is probably harder in real life than it is on television or in the movies," Grant said with a smile.

  "I know," Mariah conceded. "But none of us wanted to really admit that he might be dead. Now we can't be in denial anymore."

  "What did happen to Brad? Was it an accident?"

  "Probably not, although we don't know what really happened that night. Ryan is here investigating for the family. He's one of our friend group that became a cop. He's talking to everyone about that night and trying to put together what might have really happened."

  Grant reached for his water glass. "Ryan? That's your ex-boyfriend, isn't it?"

  How on earth...? Liza. It had to be. She'd fixed them up.

  "Yes, although I'm left wondering how you knew that."

  "When Liza gave me the rundown about you, she said that you'd had two major relationships in your life - your marriage and Ryan Beck. You were with him a long time."

  "That's true."

  "Was it an amicable split?"

  "Yes, there was no histrionics, no screaming or yelling. We both agreed it was for the best."

  "So seeing him again isn't strange?"

  It was strange. Very strange. And disturbing. She hadn't slept well last night and it was all Ryan's fault.

  I wonder if he still has insomnia. He never slept well.

  "I saw him at Liza's wedding," she said, dodging the question. "We have friends in common so it's not like I haven't seen him in the last decade."

  His gaze was intent as if he could see far too much truth. Did it show that Ryan could still make her crazy?

  "We decided to be friends," she continued, her words rushed. "And it's for the best. That way Liza won't feel so weird when we're all together. We were friends before we dated and now we're friends again. It's working fine."

  "Mariah, you are a terrible liar. Just horrendous. Don't take up poker for a living."

  Crap, it did show. This wasn't good news. Could Ryan see it, too?

  Sighing, she took a gulp of her iced tea. "Am I that bad?"

  "Maybe not to the average person, but remember I am a professional. I'm a jury consultant, Mariah. It's my business to see what people want to hide from others. Body language is more than a hobby for me."

  "He'll be gone soon. He never stays in Chicago very long."

  "And how do you feel about that?"

  "I–I'm okay with it. Like I said, we're friends. That's it."

  Grant's gaze dropped to his hands and then back up to her. "I think...that just maybe...this guy affects you more than you want to admit. I think you still have feelings for him."

  She shook her head, denying his words. "No, I don't. It's been over for many years."

  "You know, it's really okay," Grant replied with a grimace. "I like you, Mariah. You're beautiful, funny, smart, and talented. You're exactly like the person that I've been hoping to find."

  There was a but at the end of that sentence.

  "But?" she prompted.

  "I kind of get the feeling that you're not into me."

  It appeared that he could read her like a book. She wasn't sure she was a fan of that.

  "I like you a lot. You're a great guy. Really terrific."

  "There was definitely a but at the end of that sentence," he said with a grin. "But I just don't do it for you, right? It's okay, Mariah. I promise I won't get all weepy and start writing bad poetry."

  He didn't seem the type, honestly. Her ego should be a tad more bruised but it actually kind of helped that he wasn't heartbroken. She didn't want to hurt anyone.

  "I'm a terrible person," she stated firmly. "I should be head over heels for a guy like you. You're great."

  "You are not a terrible person," Grant laughed. "Not even close. It's just not happening for us and that's okay. I'll tell you what...how about you and I be friends and you and your ex-boyfriend rekindle your romance? I think you still have some feelings there."

  "I do," she admitted and not happily. "But I don't want to have feelings for him. There were good reasons we split up when we did. We were both so young and we hadn't experienced anything of life. Plus, Ryan is so damn stubborn. Do you know he never admitted he was wrong? Ever. Well, until yesterday. He admitted it then and apologized but that's how stubborn he could be. He didn't want to compromise on anything."

  "It sounds like he does now. Do you think he might have changed?"

  Ryan had changed. The question was...how much?

  "I do, but it's been a long time. I'm not sure we even know each other anymore."

  "Then get to know each other," Grant suggested. "It sounds like you still care about him. It might be worth finding out if he feels the same. But let me suggest that you might know more about him than you think you do. You spent your formative years together, after all. Sure, he might be stubborn but is he a good person? Is he honest? Hardworking? Does he care about others and have empathy? Do your morals and values align?"

  "He's all of those things."

  And more.

  "Do you think he still has feelings for you?"

  "That's a loaded question," Mariah said, pleating the napkin between her nervous fingers. It was a query that she hadn't wanted to think about too closely, afraid of the answer. "I have no idea how he feels. I know that his original plan was to avoid me."

  That statement made Grant smile.

  "Then he still feels something. If he didn't, then it wouldn't be any big deal to be around you. It sounds like you and this Ryan have some unfinished business."

  Mariah frowned. "Is this what you usually do on dates? Talk the women into going after other men? It seems like a rather limiting strategy."

  "I'm an idiot when it comes to love and relationships. But there is one thing I know for sure, and it's that I want the person I'm dating to be totally into me. If not, then I need to move along. No harm, no foul. No recriminations. Maybe friends were all we were meant to be."

  "You want to be friends with me?"

  "Everyone can use more friends."

  It was almost the exact same thing she'd said to Ryan.

  "I think that I'd like to have you for a friend. You're a nice person, and wise, too."

  "I like laying some wisdom down every now and then. So what are you going to do about Ryan?"

  "I have no idea," she confessed with an uncomfortable laugh. "I'm not sure that I'm convinced that he's still carrying a torch. He doesn't seem the type."

  "Keep your eyes open when you're with him. I can give you some body language advice if you'd like it."

  Mariah wasn't sure she wanted it. She wasn't sure she wanted to do anything about Ryan. Or their relationship.

  Because if Ryan still had feelings...and she had feelings...then what in the hell were they going to do about it? She didn't want to go after something that was destined to fall apart anyway.

  Was Ryan best left in the past? Or did they deserve a second chance?

  She didn't have any answers, but one thing was certain. She didn't want a second heartbreak at the hands of Ryan Beck. She'd barely survived the first one.

  17

  After finishing up with Trent, Ryan headed back to his apartment. He'd received a message from the office that they had information for him, and he wanted a chance to sit down where it was quiet and review it all. He only had Isla left to talk to and she was being difficult, being vague about when
they could meet. Stepping out of his cab in front of his building, he was greeted with a sight that he didn't like at all. A rush of emotion punched at his gut, almost taking his breath away.

  Mariah. And another man. Hugging on the sidewalk. She looked happy.

  Why am I so angry that she's happy? I should want her to be happy.

  And I'm not angry. I'm just surprised.

  Happy, but not that happy.

  This - feeling - wasn't welcome. He didn't have any business being jealous of Mariah in the arms of a man. He didn't want to be jealous either. It wasn't convenient in the least. He was still working on trying to be friends with her, and now he wanted to knock that guy into the street and let a bus run over him.

  He must have been standing there staring because eventually she noticed him, giving him a cheery wave as she bid the man goodbye. She stood on the sidewalk as he drove away before turning back to Ryan, who still hadn't been able to move from his spot.

  Just like that. In a mere split second more than a decade had melted away and he was twenty-two again. Life hadn't seemed nearly as difficult or complex. Twelve years ago he would have strode up to Mariah and pulled her into his arms, kissing her senseless.

  Today? He wasn't going to do that. He was going to remember that they weren't a couple anymore. That he'd moved on.

  Funny, I don't feel like I've moved on, though. Is this why I didn't want to see her?

  It was like being hit on the head with a clue-by-four. He'd wanted to avoid Mariah because his emotions when it came to her were messy. They'd separated mutually back then but he'd never found anyone that made him feel the way she had.

  And it appeared that she still could. Shit, this was not good. Clearly, she'd moved on. Married, divorced, and now dating someone. She wasn't losing any goddamn sleep over him.

  Now he was even more pissed off.

  "Who was that?"

  Christ on a cracker, could he be any more obvious about his jealousy? He needed to keep his mouth shut but for some reason that was proving more difficult than usual.