Cruel Grace: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 5) Page 10

  “And now isn’t?”

  “I think my age group was the last of the free-range parenting. We ran the neighborhood and came home at dinnertime. I don’t think kids do that now, although I could be wrong.”

  “Is that how you would have raised your kids?”

  She wanted to smack her own mouth when the question fell out. He’d planned to have children with his late wife. When she’d died, he’d probably put those plans away.

  And now I just brought it up. Shit, I need to be more sensitive. He lost his wife.

  He didn’t seem upset by the question, however. He simply smiled slightly and shook his head.

  “Nope.”

  “No? You wouldn’t have been a free-range parent?”

  “I’m a cop, Charlie. I’ve seen some ugly things. So no, I wouldn’t have let my kids run the neighborhood all day.”

  “Oh.”

  “I wouldn’t have been overprotective, either,” he went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “And I don’t think my parents did anything wrong. I had an awesome childhood and I’m sorry that kids can’t have that today, but I’m well aware as a former cop what danger lurks on every corner. I think there has to be a happy medium somehow. Not that it matters. I don’t have any kids so I don’t have to make that call. It’s probably for the best. I’ve been into my career for too long.”

  “Me too.”

  Wow, I’m such a great conversationalist.

  Maybe it was because she wanted to hear him talk, not listen to herself. She wanted to know more about Eli Hammond, former sheriff and fabulous investigator.

  “How about you?” he asked. “Did you ever want kids?”

  She’d bristled more than once when asked that question, but he didn’t ask it in the way others had. They’d sort of implied that something was wrong with her because she hadn’t had a strong maternal instinct. She liked kids. She especially liked other people’s kids. They were cute, and she loved getting down on the floor and playing games with them. She didn’t much like the crying or the peeing. All her friends with kids kept telling her that she’d feel differently with her own children.

  “I’m pretty into my career, too. Plus I’ve never met anyone I wanted to have kids with. I think that’s a big part of it.”

  She wanted to ask him the same question but she didn’t dare. He, however, must have been reading her racing thoughts.

  “I don’t have a problem with it. You can ask me anything.”

  She was curious but that didn’t mean he owed her any answers. He’d mentioned having kids earlier, but maybe he’d meant it in the universal wife and family way. He hadn’t said what his personal opinion was.

  “Did you want kids?”

  “In the beginning, yes. Later, I always thought it was a good thing that we didn’t. It would have been too hard on them.”

  “You could have… I mean…it sounds like you’ve been on your own for a long time.”

  He didn’t reply right away and she was sure that she’d upset him. This was, after all, none of her freakin’ business. It was so personal, yet it made him even more attractive to her that he was willing to discuss it all.

  The last thing I need is for Eli Hammond to be any more desirable.

  Because it wasn’t a good time for romance. As they walked along the quiet street, she had to remind herself that getting involved with this man beside her wasn’t a good idea. Her head was completely on board, but the rest of her needed far more convincing.

  “Debra made me promise not to spend the rest of my life alone, so I guess in one way I’ve let her down,” he finally said, breaking the silence. He was staring straight ahead, not looking at Charlie, probably lost somewhere in the past. “But in the beginning I just wasn’t ready. I still felt married, to be honest, and it would have been cheating to date another woman. Later, when I thought about getting out there, I didn’t have a clue as to how to do it, and I wasn’t particularly in the frame of mind to learn how. Then I left my job as a sheriff with the idea to completely start over. A fresh beginning. I have dated here and there but my job keeps me pretty busy and I travel a lot. I’ve found that women want more of my time and attention than I have to spare. Of course, the argument could be made that if I liked them enough I’d make time.”

  “Maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet.”

  For some reason, a lump had formed in her throat making it difficult to speak, perhaps because of the raw emotion in his tone. He was being open and vulnerable with her and to be frank, she wasn’t sure she deserved it. But for some reason, he was doing it.

  She was glad. She wanted to know this man better. Even if it wasn’t a good idea. She’d always been a cautious person but Eli made her want to be…spontaneous.

  I could take a few lessons from you, Kendra. You grabbed life by the balls and never let go. You dragged me out of the house more times than I can count, and damn, I miss you so much sometimes. I don’t care about all of that other stuff. I just wish you were here.

  “Maybe. When I think about relationships now, I have a far different perspective than when I was younger.”

  “You’ve intrigued me. Tell me more.”

  “As I get older, I see love in a different way. I see that a person can love multiple people at different times in their lives and in different ways. Love isn’t finite. It stretches and stretches far beyond our imaginations. The more love you have the more you can get. It’s funny that way. Love just grows in the most miraculous ways, even when the conditions are against it. My friends at work have all found love despite being in adverse conditions. The love simply couldn’t be stopped or denied. It was greater than the both of them. I think a love like that is something to strive for.”

  Fascinated. That was the word she was looking for. She was fascinated with this serious, intelligent, kind, and funny man walking next to her.

  “That’s some heavy-duty wisdom.”

  He threw back his head and laughed. “Honey, I can only wish to have a few bits of wisdom. When you get to my age—“

  “You’re not that much older than me.”

  He stopped on the sidewalk, turning toward her. “What are you? Twenty-nine? Thirty? I’m forty-two. And there are days that I feel every one of those years.”

  “You poor thing,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Should I bring the car around so you don’t have to walk back? Seriously, you don’t look over forty and as for my age? I’m thirty-four. Eight years isn’t a big damn deal.”

  “It depends on what happened in those eight years.”

  Charlie didn’t have a chance to reply. They’d reached the end of the block and needed to either turn the corner or cross the street. Eli reached for her hand as they stepped down from the curb, both seemingly having made the decision to keep going straight.

  Electricity. She could feel it start in her fingers and run all the way up her arm. It was just from holding his hand. What would happen if they kissed? It was a heady thought.

  But…wait. I’m not sure about getting involved.

  What had Eli said? A love that grew despite adverse conditions, that was too strong to ignore. Bigger than both of them.

  And who said anything about love? I’m not sure I even want to fall in love at all.

  But if I did, it would be with a man like Eli.

  It felt all wrong. She shouldn’t be having these feelings while they were investigating her best friend’s untimely death.

  I shouldn’t be happy.

  Wasn’t that what this all came down to? Why she constantly sabotaged her relationships when they seemed to be going somewhere?

  If Kendra couldn’t be happy, then neither should I.

  I need therapy. Lots of it.

  Yet here she was, happily walking hand in hand down the street near sunset with a terrific guy. The world hadn’t ended. Karma hadn’t pulled up in front of her home to smack her down.

  If anything, it was all so simple. They’d met. They’d talked. They’d reveale
d a little of their thoughts and feelings. Now he was holding her hand to cross a street. A rather old-fashioned gesture, completely unneeded. She’d been stepping off curbs and crossing streets for years now on her own and it had all gone well. But she had to admit she liked the feeling of someone wanting to take care of her. When they were safely on the other side of the street and on the sidewalk, Eli let go of her hand.

  She had to resist the urge to reach back for his.

  Why am I resisting? He’s already indicated that he’s interested.

  Because this isn’t the right time.

  It’s never the right time for you. You know why you’re running. This isn’t a man you should be running from.

  I know but old habits die hard.

  It was like having two devils, one on each shoulder screaming into her ears. Every instinct inside of her was saying that this was a guy she shouldn’t blow off. She was still holding back, though. It was all so confusing and she certainly didn’t feel like a mature thirty-four-year-old woman. Right now she was acting like a teenager on a first date wondering if they were going to kiss at the end of the night.

  “You’ve been pretty quiet. Do you want to go back to the house?”

  The deep timbre of his voice pulled her from her tangled thoughts. She’d managed to give herself a massive headache, and all because she was too cowardly to make a simple decision. This wasn’t a side of herself that she liked all that much. She’d always had pride in her ability to take charge of a situation in business, but her personal life was another story.

  I’m a mess.

  He was waiting for her answer, gazing down at her with a look of concern on his face. He was worried about her. Hell, she was worried about herself. This investigation had brought up so much crap from her past that she hadn’t dealt with.

  “I have no idea what I want to do.”

  It was the most truthful thing she’d said all day, and it pretty much summed up everything about her life at the current moment.

  “It sounds like you’re answering more than my question.”

  “I am. This whole thing…being here…it’s messing with my head. I thought I’d moved past all of this but being back here is making all of these memories flood back. I feel so stupid because I should have expected this. I should have known what was going to happen.”

  His smile was gentle. “You were in denial, honey. And to be honest, I should have been looking for the signs. I should have known that this was going to happen, too.”

  “Why? Why would you have known?”

  “Because I’ve been through the exact same thing.” He held out his hand. “How about we head back to the house? You can soak in a hot tub and get a good night’s sleep. Things might look better in the morning.”

  A hot bath and some rest sounded like heaven. She accepted his hand and they turned and walked back toward the house.

  Charlie needed to pull herself together or she was never going to survive this investigation.

  Chapter Eleven

  Eli was typing out his notes from the day when his phone rang. It was late, and Charlie was already in bed. The house was quiet and the street was mostly dark outside. He rarely had phone calls after nine so this could only be one thing.

  Work.

  Grabbing his phone so the ringtone wouldn’t wake Charlie, he checked the screen. It was Jared.

  “Hey, I was just typing out a report for you.”

  Jared Monroe was just about the best boss anyone could hope for. They’d met a few years ago when Jared and his wife Misty had been visiting her father in the town where Eli was a sheriff. Her father had been murdered and they’d worked together to find the killer. Then Jared had offered Eli a job. He hadn’t taken it right away, but eventually he’d known that he needed to make a new start.

  “I’ve got some research to add to the investigation file,” Jared replied. “I’ll send it over to you in written form but I didn’t want you to wait until the morning. I have to say that Kendra Taylor is a very interesting woman.”

  “That’s what I’ve been finding out today. What did you learn?”

  “First of all, Kendra Taylor was rich as hell. Old family money. She had a giant trust fund from her grandparents. Apparently, they didn’t like the woman their son married so they skipped a generation and left it all to Kendra. She didn’t need to work at all. In fact, her great grandkids wouldn’t need to work.”

  “Charlie mentioned that Kendra’s family had money, but I don’t think she knew the extent of it. Did her parents inherit it when she died?”

  If so, that gave mommy and daddy motive.

  “That would be too easy, my friend. No, they didn’t inherit a dime. She left it all to charity. Several of them. Every penny of it. But here’s the kicker. She’d been giving to those charities for years. Almost every dollar she made as a model she gave away to worthy causes. Kids and animals, mostly. There’s a homeless shelter in New York City that ought to have a framed photo of her in the lobby. She gave them that much dough.”

  “Did her parents know that they wouldn’t inherit? It still might give them a motive.”

  “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask them yourself, not that they’ll necessarily tell you the truth about that. I do know that Kendra used a different law firm than her parents. So they may not have known. Or perhaps she didn’t like them and she told them every chance she got.”

  “According to Charlie, Kendra got on well with her parents and they were very close. They traveled together quite a bit during her childhood.”

  There was a small silence before Jared replied.

  “I can’t speak to the validity of what Charlie was told. All I know is what I found.”

  “And it doesn’t match?”

  “Let’s just say the only trips together that I can find is when her parents dropped her off at boarding school at age eleven and then picked her up at the end of the year. Her parents did travel quite a bit, and from what I can see barely spent any time with their daughter. She was mostly raised by first a series of nannies and then the teachers at the boarding school. To be fair, the school is considered one of the best in the world so Kendra had the finest education money could buy, although she dropped out early and started modeling. That seems to be when she caught her parents’ attention again. Her mother managed her in the beginning but when Kendra turned seventeen, she signed with an independent business manager and her mother was in the background.”

  “Did she fire her?”

  “I can’t say. After that, mom and dad went on a world cruise and were gone for months. Kendra was already self-supporting with her modeling job plus her trust fund. I still have more digging to do into the parental finances. Maybe I can find something there.”

  It appeared that Kendra hadn’t been honest about much of anything with Charlie. But it did sort of explain why having Charlie’s approval was so important to Kendra. She hadn’t had much of it from her own parents growing up.

  Jared had summed it up well. Kendra Taylor was a very interesting woman. Generous as hell, loyal to her friends, but a party animal on the down low.

  “One of Kendra’s friends today told me that she was involved in some rather kinky behavior. Swinging, multiple sex partners. That sort of thing. I don’t suppose you found anything to disprove or corroborate any of that.”

  “I didn’t see anything in her financial background that would push me either way. She spent a lot of money, but then she had a lot of money. She traveled a lot and liked expensive shoes and clothes. Her apartment in New York City cost millions, and I don’t think she took the subway. She had a car service on retainer. She had a vacation apartment in Paris. But I didn’t see anything that suggests she was involved in sex clubs or anything like that. It just sounds like she had some wild friends.”

  “I definitely need to talk to her ex-boyfriend. The thing is, one of the friends said that they’d been broken up for months when she was killed.”

  “Speaking of Cagney, I foun
d him, and he’s not far from you. He lives in Chicago with his wife. He’s in real estate now, and from what I can see he does well.”

  “Was he really in Miami the day of the murder? That’s what the file says.”

  “Glad you asked that. I can’t find any flights to Miami or a hotel charge. However, that doesn’t mean anything. He might have flown on a private plane and if he was doing a modeling job, he might not have been paying the hotel bill. Ryan is trying to dig into this and find someone who actually saw him in Miami at that time.”

  “That could take weeks. Or months.”

  If at all. Twelve years ago was a long time to remember a minor detail.

  “We’re digging into Cagney’s finances back then, so I’ll let you know if we find anything. By the way, his real name is Wilbur Benedict Cagney. He goes by Will Cagney now.”

  “I’m going to talk to Detective Stands tomorrow, and maybe I can also take a trip to Chicago to talk to Will. We need his side of the story.”

  “I can reach out and see if I can set something up.”

  “Perfect. Thanks. I appreciate the help.”

  “Let me know what else we can do. I’m sending Jackson out there as soon as I can to give you a hand.”

  Jackson was a fairly new guy at the firm, but he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders.

  “I know you’re busy as hell. I’ve got this if you need him there.”

  “We need both of you everywhere, but we have to do this one at a time.” There was the sound of a muffled voice in the background. “I need to go. Misty and I are binging a new series. We’re up to the finale and she can’t wait.”

  Eli said goodbye and thanked Jared again before hanging up. He now had more information than he’d had a few hours ago. Or did he? He only had a few suspicions, but at least they were paths to follow.

  Just what had Kendra Taylor been doing the week before she died? Eli was determined to find out.

  Charlie had slept fitfully most of the night, her head filled with all of the things she’d learned about Kendra, plus wondering what else would be revealed in the coming days. Eli had warned her that there were no secrets in a murder investigation but she’d naively assumed that it wouldn’t be an issue.